Catch All

The Bullying Epidemic – What You and Your Children Need to Know

September 23, 2015 by Kenney Myers

On September 9, 2013, following a year of verbal abuse and bullying, 12-year-old Rebecca Ann Sedwick decided that she couldn’t take it any longer. She messaged a friend about her intentions, changed her screen name to “That Dead Girl” and climbed the tower at an abandoned concrete plant and jumped. Her mother told the local newspaper, the Lakeland Ledger: “I never had a clue. I mean, she told me last year when she was being bullied, but not this year, and I have no idea why.”

According to the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES), 64% of young people between the ages of 12 and 18 have been bullied. In Sedwick’s case, the bullying included verbal taunts, threats and even an incident of physical aggression. When Sedwick sought relief by enrolling in a different school, the bullies simply followed her online, taunting her via text messages and social media.

Cyber-bullying

For as long as anyone can remember, the domain of the bully was a face-to-face encounter in the schoolyard. Today, while bullies might still meet up at school, much of the behavior has shifted to online media. This has changed the nature of the attack, since online abuse can feel relentless. Whenever the victim picks up a text message, reads a tweet or goes online to check a social media site, the bullying can resume. Worse, bullies can amass a huge following. One so-called “drama queen” actually had a following of more than 500 other children.

Online bullying is at epidemic proportions: Consumer Reports estimated that in 2011, 800,000 young people had been bullied on Facebook. If you are a parent or caregiver of a child, it’s time to get the facts so that you can teach your child what to do if he experiences face-to-face or cyber-bullies. The first step is to let them know exactly what a bully is and how to recognize bullying behavior.

What is bullying?

A bully is not someone who engages in a single incident of teasing or horseplay. According to Dan Olweus, bullying has three characteristics: 1) it is intentional behavior, 2) it is repeated over time, and 3) it is characterized by an imbalance of power in terms of physical strength or social status. Examples of bullying behavior include the following: when another student (or several students) insults, harasses, spreads lies or rumors about another child or threatens or physically assaults a peer.

What can you do to help prevent abuse?

When you talk about bullying with your child, make sure that he understands that no one should be the object of repeated teasing, name-calling or ridicule. Talk to him about how bullies target someone, and explain that a bully tries to isolate his victim. The best thing to do when you are being bullied is to get help. As the parent, you are your child’s best ally, but let him know there are many other allies he can turn to, including teachers, guidance counselors and school administrators. All of these adults are trained to intervene.

Of course, the best way to inoculate your child to bullying is to make sure he has healthy self-esteem. Let him know that he deserves respect. Tell him it is never his fault if he’s being bullied; it is always the fault of the bully. Children need help understanding that ignoring the problem usually makes it worse. If they are unable to stop a bully, get help. Bullies have power because they isolate their victims. If the victim gets help, then the bully loses all power. You have to confront a bully to make the abuse stop.

Parents of young children should start early, helping them learn and practice basic assertiveness skills. If someone takes something of your child’s or violates his personal space, teach him to say “no” or “stop doing that.” Children should know that they can set boundaries with their peers.

According to the National Association for the Education of Young Children, “Children who express their feelings and needs while respecting those of others will be neither victims nor aggressors.” Help your child identify their feelings and express them through “I” statements. Teach him that he can confront someone who is being controlling or abusive. For instance, “I feel hurt when you take my toy, and I want you to give it back.”

Be cyber savvy!

One of the most important things you can teach your child is to be Internet savvy. Although some bullying starts with a face-to-face conflict, plenty of bullying today begins with incidents of so-called “over-sharing” on social media. Talk to your children about the risks and dangers of sharing personal statements online.

Elizabeth Englander of the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center advises parents to ask their children if they think their posts are automatically private. If they say yes, then they need to think again. Even if you set your account to private, it just takes one friend making a screenshot and sending it out to everyone else for your privacy to be gone. Once that happens, you can never get those statements back.

Here’s another mistake: teens often think that their friends will keep their online secrets. Englander has researched this topic extensively. Not only do they not keep secrets well, they are not even thinking about their friends when they break their confidence. Teens gossip to gain status with other teens. It may be shortsighted and impulsive, but it’s also typical teen behavior. Make sure your teen knows that this happens all the time.

And finally, here are two more excellent tips:

• Set a Google alert to your child’s name. If there is any negative material (or any bullying) that pops up online, you’ll be among the first to know.
• Keep up-to-date on the latest apps and sites. It almost goes without saying, but if you don’t understand the technology, there is very little you can do to protect your child.

How can you recognize if your child is being victimized?

Too often parents assume that that their child will tell them if there is a problem when, actually, there is ample evidence to suggest the opposite. Very few children disclose bullying. According to a 2008-2009 School Crime Supplement, two-thirds of the time teens are bullied they never report an incident to anyone, including their parents. This means you need to be watchful. Ask questions of your child and make sure you are looking for problems. Symptoms of possible bullying include the following:

• Your child comes home missing items (books, electronics, etc.).
• Your child avoids school, does not want to attend classes or is unwilling to take the bus. Often these children will use excuses to avoid school (complaints of a stomachache or sickness).
• He appears injured (cuts and bruises).
• He has few, if any, friends (socially isolated).
• He has trouble in school, appears disinterested and/or receives poor grades.
• He appears sad or depressed when he comes home.
• He has trouble sleeping or suffers from bad dreams.
• He appears anxious and suffers from low self-esteem.

If your child displays any of these symptoms, talk to him and get help. Reach out to school administrators and work with them to help your child. Find a therapist for your child to talk to. If it appears that he is being victimized, consider taking away his cell phone and limiting his social media use. He may not be able to handle the pressure he’s receiving from peers.

How can you tell if your child is bullying others?

Of course, it is just as important to recognize if your child is the bully. Bullies (especially online ones) may look strong and competent, but in reality they also suffer from depression and low self-esteem. Here are some warning signs that might alert you if your child is the bully:

• He’s confrontational and prone to physical or verbal fights.
• His friends are known as bullies.
• He’s known among siblings as a bully or aggressor.
• He has discipline problems at school.
• He doesn’t act empathetically towards their peers.
• He’s excessively worried about popularity, looks and/or reputation.
• When he does get into trouble, he doesn’t take responsibility for his actions.

If your child displays these behaviors, get help. There is every reason to worry as much about a bully as those that are bullied. Take these symptoms seriously and involve professional help.

Moving forward

One final piece of advice: the best way to teach your child anything is to model the behavior yourself. Demonstrate tolerance to your children, show them that you respect others and let them know you are willing to listen. If you see bullying, step in and set a limit. Let your children know what you did and why. Over time, you’ll learn together how to combat bullying, avoiding tragic fates that plague so many other kids.

Parenting in the Social Media Age: How to Keep Your Child Safe

September 22, 2015 by Kenney Myers

Parenting has changed drastically in the past decade. Instead of dinner bells ringing children home, they now have cell phones. Social media has become an obsession and a favorite past time. With the changes in technology, changes in parenting become necessary.

You can keep your child safe in the social media age with a few tips to help you stay up to speed with today’s technology and your child’s plugged-in world.

Learn the Technology

First and foremost, for parents to be able to help, it is important that they understand how technology works and accept that technology is a big part of young people’s lives, says Silje Vallestad, CEO and founder of Bipper, a mobile safety app company. As cyber bullying situations continue to increase, parents must know how to operate and monitor apps, social media networks and various technology to ensure that their children are acting appropriately and that they are treated respectfully in what is a 24/7 public environment.

“For kids today, being stripped of their access to the social communities and technology in general is considered so bad that they won’t ask for help or tell parents about negative experiences,” says Vallestad. “Parents need to understand that there is a difference between the digital childhood of kids today and their own upbringing, and that access to technology is as important as access to paper and pens.”

Although social media is extremely important to your child, it doesn’t mean they should have full reign of the technology. “Parents should never grant kids access to technology without guiding them in the world of technology and to be able to guide their kids, they need to understand technology and online services,” says Vallestad. “I believe in parents spending time educating themselves, combined with frequent conversations between parent and child about the use of technology in general and use of specific services in particular.”

Use Technology to Bond with Your Child

Monitoring your child’s social media use does not have to be a negative experience, wherein you are acting the part of a spy. Use technology as an opportunity to learn something new from your children and brush up on your own skills. Vallestad, the mother of three kids all using technology, says she uses mobile app alerts that provide information on which social media applications her children are downloading.

“When I see that they have installed apps I either don’t know much about or that I’m worried about (such as SnapChat or Instagram), I make a point of having a good conversation about these services,” she says. “They teach me a lot about technology and the services while we talk about how things can be used for good or bad.”

These conversations can help to create trust between a parent and a child and allow opportunities to talk about how technology can be used to harm others and how to react in those situations. “With our frequent talks on tech, where I show that I’m both interested and involved in their digital lives and also allow them to use technology, I believe we have fostered an atmosphere where they will feel safe to tell me if something bad is happening,” says Vallestad.

Have a Plan of Action

As you are learning the technology, it’s important to remember the top three actions to take when your child is engaged in social media, according to Vallestad.

Technology is Important to Your Child: Understand that your kids need to use technology and be part of the online communities where their peers are. It’s part of their lives and if you remove it, you will probably create a growing gap between you and your child instead of fostering an atmosphere of dialogue.
Open Conversations are Necessary: Engage in open and trusting conversations with your kids about technology. Let them tell you, show you and teach you. Reacting with anger or shock to things you might see could result in your kids closing down conversations. Try to stay calm and ask questions. Together, you can agree on rules. Sometimes you both may come to the conclusion that a particular service is not ok. Other times, it is ok but you may require that you will be a friend or follower.
Research is Key: Do your own research on services and use that research to ask your kids the right questions. However, don’t automatically assume that your kids are using a questionable service in a wrong way simply because there is a lot of information online about that service being used negatively. Do keep an open eye and make sure you are neither naïve nor ignorant about social media.

Ash Wednesday Isn’t Really Just About Sacrificing Something

September 21, 2015 by Kenney Myers

We spent some time this Sunday discussing Ash Wednesday in church and a new realization occurred to me (well our pastor pretty much hit me up beside the head with it). Ash Wednesday (the start of Lent) is about a lot more than just sacrificing something you enjoy doing, eating, drinking, etc. You see growing up that was all that it was about for me. I gave up soda one year for instance and you know it was a real struggle for me but I felt like I really accomplished something. Through the years I have given up other things but always thinking that Lent was bout sacrificing like what God did for us when he sent his son to die on the cross. I never really fully appreciated what the season was about. You see, it is about sacrifice but it’s also about sacrificing something so that you spend more time with God. That’s something that I totally missed for all of these years.

Here’s a cool video by the skit guys on fasting (which is mostly related):

We know that as Christians we aren’t supposed to make a big display out of fasting or during lent whatever we are giving up. It says in Matthew 6:16-18:

“And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”

So it seems from this passage that regardless of whether it is for Lent or just a general fast, we aren’t supposed to make a big deal out of it telling everyone what we are up to like it’s the latest diet craze. This is about inward reflection as is Ash Wednesday and the season of Lent. This year I’m not planning on giving up something for the sake of giving it up. Instead I am going to try to be more purposeful about setting aside time to reflect on how to make God and Jesus more a part of my daily life. I’m not sure what that actually means or how I will determine my success or failure but then again that’s also not the point. It’s about doing the best we can to be better Christians in spite of the craziness going on around us (much of which we create ourselves).

27 Blogs Explaining the Benefits of Drinking Enough Water for Your Body

September 20, 2015 by Kenney Myers

You’ve probably heard that you should drink water, but how much is enough? Can you drink too much? The information regarding water intake varies, with some suggestions saying you should drink eight glasses of water a day and others suggesting two liters a day for women. If you keep in mind that your body is made up of at least 50% water, you will want to make water your beverage of choice as often as you can. One trick to drink more water is to keep a glass of water by you at all times and use a straw. If you think about it, keeping your body hydrated can only help all of your organs function better. You can read more about that in some of the posts below. One of the side effects of drinking your recommended daily allowance of water is that you look younger and better. To learn all you’ve ever wanted to know about water, check out these 27 blogs.

Weight Loss

Drinking water and losing weight has been a hotly debated topic. These nine blog posts will explain in detail what the debate is about, but the short story is that drinking water alone will probably not cause you to lose weight. However, drinking water before and after meals can help you feel fuller and cause you to eat less. If you drink water your organs will work better and rid your body of harmful toxins that could be causing you to retain water. Also, by drinking water you are activating the fiber that you should also be eating if you are trying to lose weight, which will help you shed some weight. So while drinking water doesn’t make you lose weight by itself, it certainly can be a very helpful tool in your weight loss journey. Read more about the science of this in these nine blog articles.

Organ Function

Many of the organs in your body are made up of mostly water. If you don’t drink enough water, your organs will try to steal water from your hair and skin to get the water they need to work. If they still can’t get enough water, they won’t work to their full potential. Water will help improve your immune system because it allows your body to fight off illness as long as you are properly hydrated. If you get frequent headaches, the solution may be as simple as drinking more water. The brain is made up of nearly 90% water and if you are constantly dehydrated you will be tired and slow thinking. Combine that with being more prone to headaches and you can see why drinking water is so important for organ function.

Appearance

When you consider that dehydration causes your organs to steal moisture from your skin, hair, and fingernails, you can see why getting enough water might help you look better. Your skin will be more supple and radiant, your hair will be shinier and fuller and your nails will grow longer and be less brittle. One of these blog articles even calls water the fountain of youth. For more information on how drinking water can help improve your appearance, check out these nine blog entries.

10 Kens Famous for Their TV Appearances

September 19, 2015 by Kenney Myers

Streaming video online may be the wave of the future, but it hasn’t quite replaced the television just yet. Chances are, you still spend quite a bit of time relaxing in front of the TV, even if you’re a fan of online video and Internet entertainment. When it comes to TV talent, there seems to be a surfeit of gifted stars named Ken. These are 10 Kens who share not only an exceptional first name, but also the experience of making it a household name after appearing on television.

Ken James – An Australian actor whose career began in the 1960s, Ken James has done turns as the star of children’s shows, sitcoms and televised dramas. He also reinvented himself as a television chef, a stint that lasted more than a decade, regularly appeared on Good Morning Australia, and was actively involved in the marketing of a kitchen implement. In 2009, he was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma, but he’ll always be more famous for his television work than his battle with cancer.
Ken Wahl – Most popular for his role on the now-defunct CBS crime drama Wiseguy, Ken Wahl is something of an enigma himself. His true birth date remains something of a mystery to this day, as does his back story before reaching the big leagues of television fame. These days, he’s an outspoken animal activist and vocal supporter of disabled American military veterans.
Ken Lawson – While he’s worked as a rapper, Kenyatta “Ken” Lawson is most well-known for his work on sitcoms like In The House and The Parkers. He took a step back from acting in 2004 to pursue his musical career, but he definitely made his mark on the world of pop culture through his early days in television.
Ken Jeong – Ken Jeong began his career as a physician and professor at North Carolina A&T State University, graduating from high school at the prodigious age of 16. Working in medicine didn’t earn this famous Ken his notoriety, though. He made his television debut on The Big Easy as a doctor, and has since appeared on shows like Two and a Half Men, Boston Legal, Curb Your Enthusiasm and The Office. These days, you’ll see him staring as Senor Chang on the wildly popular sitcom Community.
Ken Jennings – It’s safe to say that Ken Jennings made his mark on television history when he set the records for both the longest winning streak on Jeopardy! and the most prize-money earnings in American history. A graduate of Brigham Young University and a computer scientist by trade, Ken Jennings has racked up millions of dollars by putting his super-powered knowledge of trivia to work on television game shows.
Ken Dodd – As a chart-topping singer/songwriter and comedian, Ken Dodd is famous for many things. His unique hairstyle, buck teeth and affection for feather dusters have all attributed to his fame, but his run of successful British television shows has put him on the global map of fame.
Ken Maynard – A beloved stuntman and actor whose movies still run on television decades after his death, Ken Maynard had the role of “cowboy” down to a science. He appeared in more than 90 films over the span of his career, but his struggles with addiction brought his run to an early end. A mysterious benefactor, widely believed to be Gene Autry, supported him through a quarter-century without work before he passed away of stomach cancer in 1973.
Ken Kercheval – There was a time when it seemed like the sudsy prime time hit Dallas was the only show on television, and this man was at the center of the action from day one. Ken Kercheval and his Dallas costar Larry Hagman were the only two original cast members to stay throughout the entire run of the show, reprising his role in reunion specials and the 2012 reboot of the show.
Ken Seeley – Climbing from the depths of addiction to reclaim sobriety is no mean feat. Doing so only to find yourself at the top of the entertainment world as a leading interventionist on the Emmy-winning A&E hit show Intervention is an even higher level of achievement. Seeley even received a Golden Palm Star on the Palm Springs Walk of Stars in 2011, and continues his work in television as an addiction specialist.
Kenny Wormald – A dancer and choreographer who has worked with superstars like Justin Timberlake, this Ken is no stranger to the small-screen limelight. Starring in reality programming before making the jump to made-for-television movies with the film Center Stage: Turn it Up, Kenny Wormald was also the male lead in the 2011 reboot of the 1980s dance classic Footloose.

10 iPhone Apps to Help You Track Your Favorite Team’s Stats

September 18, 2015 by Kenney Myers

Keeping up with the demands of a busy professional life and a balanced personal life can be a challenge, and may not leave you with enough time to watch all of your favorite teams compete in their respective sports. These 10 iPhone apps can help you track scores and achievements when you’re not able to tune into live events and allow you to watch your favorite teams compete while you’re on the go!

MLB.com At Bat – From Spring Training to the World Series, the Major League Baseball season is long and sometimes arduous. Get your off-season fix while you’re waiting for the new season to begin, including archives of classic games filled with historic moments in baseball. When the season begins, MLB.com At Bat keeps you up to date on all the movers and shakers in pro baseball, with Gameday Audio, video highlights, news and live look-ins. Never miss the results of a big game again!
theScore Mobile – This free app has been named one of Apple’s Amazing Apps for iPhone 5 and is a member of the App Store Essentials Hall of Fame. Whether you’re following all of your favorite teams as a fan or monitoring the performance of your fantasy players, this app delivers all the scoring and statistical information you need to stay on top of each and every game.
Ultimate Fight Fan: Top MMA, Strikeforce & Ultimate Fighting news & videos – If you like your sports a bit more on the full-contact side, the free Ultimate Fight Fan is the app for you. Keep up with your favorite fighters’ win/loss stats and match information. The app grants access to the official UFC Facebook wall and MMA News, along with headlines, upcoming fight card, match recaps and promotional videos to keep you pumped for the next fight.
Pro Football Insider – The NFL fan is in a league all of its own, which is why this free pro football-dedicated app is a must have for any die-hard supporter. Quick access to stats, standings and schedules keeps you up to date on the teams you support, while integrated Twitter feeds allow you to see what your favorite players, experts and analysts are saying about the big game.
FOX Sports Mobile – If you are a multi-sport fan supporting lots of teams across several leagues, this free app may streamline your approach to stats and standings tracking. With support for motorsports, MMA, boxing, soccer, tennis, golf, NHL, NBA, WNBA, men’s and women’s NCAA Basketball, MLB, NFL and NCAA football, Fox Sports Mobile keeps you in the loop at all times. Users can also access information from exclusive analysts and FOX Sports writers.
ESPN College Football – College football lies somewhere between sport and religion for devotees, which is why this free app offers year-round press updates, highlights and full coverage. When the season starts, stay informed as the big plays happen with scoring alerts and keep an eye on your customizable scoreboards to make sure that you’re always in the NCAA Football loop.
ESPN Fantasy Football 2012 – If your favorite football team is a fantasy team, then this is the app for you. With push notifications for scoring plays, substitutions and injuries, you can manage your fantasy team with ease, no matter where you are.
NASCAR Mobile ‘13 – Some teams manipulate a ball, while others dominate a race track. Fans of NASCAR racing shouldn’t overlook this free app, which offers year-round coverage of everything from the Sprint Cup to the Camping World Truck series. Keeping up with your favorite drivers’ performances is a snap with NASCAR Mobile, even if you do miss the adrenaline rush of seeing the big win happen.
WatchESPN – Sometimes you just have to see the game, even if you’re going to be on the road or away from a television. That’s where this free app comes in handy, offering you unfettered access to ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN3 and ESPNU. If ESPN is part of your cable package at home, you can watch from wherever you happen to be on your iPhone.
Yahoo! Sportacular – An App Store Essential, inductee of the App Store Hall of Fame and named one of the App Store Great Free Apps, Yahoo! Sportacular delivers updates, breaking news, scores and stats quickly and efficiently, helping you keep up with the stats of your favorite teams and individual players.

No matter which sports you follow and which teams you support, there’s an iPhone app out there that will help you keep up with all the news, stats and developments relevant to their performance. There’s very little that these 10 can’t keep up with, but in case one doesn’t fit your needs, there’s also an App Store filled-to-bursting with quality sports apps for the die-hard fan.